First Draft of Music Video

There are a few things that I'm not overly pleased with in my first draft, but have made a list of what to do in my second draft to ensure that the video runs smoother and is more to my liking as well as the audience's:

- Possibly have the lyrics appearing in some of the scenes, as the artist cannot be heard at some points.

There are points in the song that Paul can't be heard, this could be down to a number of things, like his Sheffield accent or the fact that it may have been a bad recording. But, I have to live with this and work around it. This therefore means that I could possibly have some of the most predominant words, that tell the story most, written into the video. It could be possible to have them over some scenes, or over Paul miming. Yet, I think the best idea would probably be to give the words their own 2 second slot. I.e. have a black background and fade them in and out or make them appear quickly like a burst of lyrics. The idea, I am not sure of yet, but I think this is still a good idea and could be part of the second draft.

- Possibly have an intro, rather than an outro.

One of the members of my audience said that not many music videos go straight into the song, which I completely agree with. This is why I came up with the idea of changing my artists name and title of the song from the outro, to the intro. This way the audience will get a start to the song rather than just going straight into it as at the start most people don't concentrate fully anyway and need to get into it before hand.

- Get more shots of Paul, more extreme close-ups and more shots of the guitar and him miming the lyrics.

Seeing as I didn't think Paul would be in it as much, I don't have enough variety of his shots. This is why I will need to get him to come down to Nottingham again and get more close-ups of his face when he is singing the lyrics as well as him just singing the lyrics from a mid-shot and more shots of the guitar. This will give a lot more variety and make the video more interesting for a viewer's eye.

- Have the colour of the scenes coming in slowly, rather than straight away.

In my first draft, the couple go from being in black and white (as they have a dull, boring, life) straight into colour. I perhaps think, looking back, that I should change this to make the colour of the couple slowly come into play rather than just going straight into it. This will give a feel of the couple getting happier as time goes on and as things slowly change.

- Think about colour for Paul, possibly sketched or black and white?

Having the couple in black and white and then in colour means that Paul doesn't particularly stand out as he is just in a normal colour. This is why I think that he should possibly be in a sort of cartoon/sketched colour to ensure that he stands out as the artist and it can be seen that he is just singing about the couple and does not really have any relation to the two people, aside from the fact that he is singing about them and possibly telling a story of his life, but with different people.

- Longer part for the smiling bit.

There are a few bits in the video that are not really long enough for the viewer to understand. For example, there is a part when the couple are looking in the mirror together (which contrasts the man looking in the mirror on his own) and laughing. Yet, it is only about 2 seconds long and to get a real feel of the emotions, I think in the second draft it must be longer.

- Sort out continuity.

There are two continuity errors in my first draft which the audience also noticed. This therefore definitely needs to be changed for the second draft to ensure that the video flows and looks professional.

- More of a close-up on the Paris tickets; make it more obvious that he is taking her to Paris.

The Paris tickets in my first draft cannot be seen particularly well which gives off slight confusion for the audience. I need to ensure that the Paris tickets are seen properly to the audience realises the husband is changing their lives, being spontaneous, and taking her away to Paris.

- Picture of the Eiffel Tower on the tickets? Maybe a piece of paper that Alex opens to see writing or a picture?

The Paris tickets could be made even more obvious by a picture of the Eiffel Tower or maybe a letter saying that the woman is going away with her husband, or perhaps just two fully made tickets to make it clear to the audience what exactly she is receiving.

- Longer part for reversing off the drive, make sure the pieces fit together better.

The shot for the car reversing off the drive does not particularly merge with the shot of the car driving off, which means that I will need to re-shoot this and ensure that the two shots can merge together and it is long enough to be able to look professional.

- Longer smiling part in the car, ensure that it is obvious they are smiling.

This is another part of my unhappiness with a few shots in the first draft. When the couple are in the car and I have a shot from the back seat of them both looking at each other and smiling, it is not particularly clear. A member of my audience didn't realise that they were going away together and this therefore means that I need to ensure the message of the video is clear, especially in this part.

- Make writing on intro/outro clearer.

The writing in the outro (soon to be the intro) is not clear enough to be able to read properly. This is why I need to ensure that I use a different font and different colour of writing to make sure there is no confusion for the audience.